Rokok

Orang pernah tanya, brapa batang rokok ko isap?

Jawapan:

Aku isap dua batang di waktu pagi
Aku isap dua batang di waktu tengahari
Aku isap dua batang di waktu malam

Membuatkanku rasa lega
Aku isap dua batang di masa aman
dan dua batang di masa darurat
Aku isap dua batang sebelum aku isap dua batang
Pastu aku isap dua batang lagi

Hari Raya

Slamat Hari Raya.

Yes Slamat Hari Raya to all. Congratulations on your decision to balik kampung You've just made the best decision of your lifetime. The first thing you'll want to do is settle your sudden crippling debt by paying the tolls immediately.

Ya besh balik kampung.
Udara segar, pemandangan hijau kangkung,
dan bila malam sejuk gila.
Taiping memang sejuk gila,
Slack bebudak main mercun sampai kul 2 pagi.
Memang nak kene trajang
Jumpa sanak sedara semua makan ketupat rendang dan kuah kacang

Pegi sembahyang raya
Dengar lagu raya
Kena kejar ngan hantu raya
Tak dapat duit raya

Duk memikir pasal lagu lebaran
Asal ada lirik pasal makanan
Mesti dah kebulur sangat kan

Rich and Wealthy.

Rich and wealthy is different.

Whats the different?

Cristiano Ronaldo is rich, the guy that sign his paycheck is wealthy.

I'm not talking rich, I'm talking about wealthy.

I'm not talking about Beckham, I'm talking about Bill Gates.

If Bill Gates wakes up one day with Beckham money, he will kill himself.

I'm not talking about rich, I'm talking about wealthy.

Wealth will set us free, it's like the cheat code that can lift a community from proverty.

I'm not talking abour rich, I'm talking about wealthy.

Wealth his pass down form generation to generation

Rich can loss money in one bad day.

I'm not talking about rich, I'm talking about wealthy.

If Chinese people get wealthy, they will built a big muthafucka mall and get his friends wealthy.

If Malays get wealthy, they buy sport rims. We will put rims in any freaking car we can find. Hell we will get rid of kuali and start cooking in rims if we can.

I'm Quitting my Job

My boss sucks.

He just married again and he's finishing all the company money to his new wife. House car, furniture bla bla

I havent have my paycheck for two months and I say If you dont pay me I'm gonna tell the Labor office and make sure you live the rest your life as a begger.

And........

He doesnt like it when I threaten him. He gave my paycheck and told me to write a resignation letter.

Wait did I write that? He did seems furious when receive my letter cuz 4 more people quit with me.

He said I will receive my last paycheck after Raya. I swear if I dont see my paycheck by next week, I'm gonna hit his car with my hockey stick.